The Catholic Church scares me and cracks me up in equal measures

So leaving aside the Catholic Church's completely irrational insistence on telling the entire African continent that condoms don't spread AIDS and sure lets face it even if they did aren't they a sin anyway, I read this story on Wednesday and it just blew me away

From the Irish Times

Pharmacists in Ireland have a constitutional right to refuse to dispense the morning-after pill on grounds of religious or personal beliefs, a spokeswoman for the Irish Pharmaceutical Union (IPU) has said, following Pope Benedict's comments on the subject in Rome.

On Monday the pope appealed for pharmacists to refuse to dispense drugs such as the morning-after pill if they objected on moral grounds. The comments ignited controversy in Italy....

What the FUCK???

So here's the thing - I remember a friend of mine talking about the good old days in the 80's when condoms literally couldn't be bought - I'm guessing everyone's familiar with the way people used to travel up north purely to fulfill their contraceptive needs because of the ban in the South. He talked about coming back from America and going into a chemist to buy some condoms (at this stage they'd finally) been legalised only to be told by the severely disapproving older woman behind the counter that "we don't sell THOSE THINGS here".

You'd think things would've changed but I think most lads can tell a story of the dirty looks from behind the counter as you hand your packet of Durex over along with shower gel, deodrant, toothpaste razor blades hair gel (even though you've just shaved your head) and lots of other stuff you didn't really need. Ah yes how we perfected the art of nonchalantly grabbing the packet at the last minute as if it was an afterthought - God be with the days!

Ok i'm being facetious but there is a point - condoms are one thing but the morning after pill is even more difficult I presume. I'd imagine it's safe to say that it's pretty much always the woman who ends up having to explain to the doctor what happened.

So here's how I imagine it -

• first you have to make sure you get time off to see the doctor within the necessary time,
• then you have to go through the excruciating discomfort of explaining everything that happened the previous night and
• then you have to make your way to the chemist knowing that the pharmacist is looking at you judging you and then

and then

then some prick says fuck you I'm not giving you this on the grounds of my religious beliefs???

Excuse me?? But fuck you buddy.

Seriously whatever reasons people have for getting into that position in the first place the fact is that contraception is all about choice - namely YOUR fucking choice and not the chemists

What a fuckin joke

Just to end the rant on a lighter note, you gotta love Father Brian Darcy. Basically he says on the front of the IT here that priests are worried that if they celebrate a few masses in one day that the altar wine will push them over the drink driving limit.

Now leaving aside the fact that apparently the Catholic Church won't let the poor priests use non-alcoholic wine (WHY?? - I suspect some conspiracy between Rome and the Italian vineyards!)

Anyway that aside here's my favourite quote from the boy D'Arcy

while I don't like to use the word wine, as it is the precious blood in the Eucharist, it still has all the characteristics of wine when in the blood stream

I can see it now - sorry Father would you mind stepping out of the vehicle - I'm afraid we're going to have to arrest you on suspicion of drunk driving.

Oh no no no my son that won't be necessary - you see it's actually 2 bottles of the precious blood of the Eucharist flowing through my system, not wine! Now it may have all the characteristics of win.......

Come with us Father

*hic*