What were we to expect?

I suppose realistically we've no-one to blame but ourselves. Went down to Limerick on Saturday for a friend's stag party. Now to be fair the stag was put together at relatively short notice so it being that time of year the chances of getting a restaurant reservation were somewhere between are ya having a laugh and no seriously are ya having a laugh. So we ended up eating in the hotel's restaurant.

Step forward and take a bow ... Jurys Inn

Mother of sweet jesus - there's a reason why I never eat in hotels outside of weddings and occasional christmas parties and even on those occasions you're often well advised to pack a couple of hang sangwiches.

The restaurant in Jurys Inn pretty much encapsulated every reason why hotel restaurants are to be avoided at all costs.

It obviously doesn't help that I've worked full and part-time in various restaurants for the last 12 years - consequently you fall into your natural waiter mode as you silently critique what's being done right and notsoright. First things first there were 2 other tables in the restaurant when we arrived in - a couple and a guy by himself - so here's what you should be thinking.

If you're the manager you should be saying right it's the week before Christmas, the rest of town is hopping and we've got nothing going on here apart from this stag party. Restaurants and hotels are based on the whole notion of goodwill - the pat phrase in these situations is that if a customer is happy with his service he'll tell 2 or 3 of his friends whereas if it's a disaster they'll tell at least 10 of their friends. So knowing all this you'd imagine the manager will say right lets make an effort here and try to get some goodwill going.

If you're the waiter you're thinking right they're drinking, they seem to be good craic, I'm not busy given there's only 3 other customers in the room - lets get these lads served and se how much of a service charge I can get out of them.

Pretty straightforward logic right?

Christ

So here's how it went

food order taken - very straightforward - I think there were 11 sirloins and 1 lamb ordered for mains - key point - make sure you remember who's having the rare steaks, the mediums, the well dones etc... It really isn't that hard.

Starters come out - the staff don't have a clue who's having what, the order's messed up and 2 of the lads are told not so politely by the waiter, no thats not what you ordered, you actually ordered this

I'd say something if we were all demented and couldn't remember what we'd ordered but we were all very compos mentis at that stage

So the lads wait a ridiculously long time for their starters

Meanwhile the waitstaff - there was a few of them - breeze past the table using that careful don't make eyecontact approach that you perfect in waitron school - the fact that this meant the lads had to go to the bar to get drinks just reinforced the impression of this being a meal to forget.

And then the main courses - waiters and someone who looked like a manager bringing steaks out and just shouting at people - "who's having the well done ..." Now personally I think this is a shabby way to appraoch a table but provided you haven't messed up the order it normally works out in the end. It's just a less polished and more inefficient means of serving a table.

As I said provided you haven't messed up the order - well between the waiter and the "chef" it managed to be an unmitiagted disaster - apart from the 2 rare steaks, every one of them was cremated to within an inch of its life. Did anyone come back to check - No.

Unfortunately the consensus from the table was "whats the point in sending them all back and making a scene?" This is a typically Irish approach to poor service.

Personally I'd be reluctant to send my food back but for completely different reasons. I've seen what chefs have done to returned food and kids it ain't pretty.

So that was it - we still gave 10 per cent - why? God alone knows.

Jurys Inn Limerick - what an embarassment - your restaurant embodies the sort of workplace where no-one from the waitstaff to the management gives a shit. I know I shouldn't expect much but every so often, mostly by accident, I've happened upon the occasional hotel restaurant that is a curiously pleasant surprise. But Jurys Inn? The food and the "service" screamed apathy yet you still got your money - you must be so proud.